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Speaking Out: A Muslim Woman's Story (Part 2)
...By the age of 20, I had no prospects for a future. I languished in a cultural prison for an offense I did not commit. My crime? I was a woman. I tried to end it taking sleeping pills, but was saved, to my dismay.
I never was able to understand my culture. As a religious person, it didn’t make sense that women were habitually abused. According to Islam, I had a God-given right of equality with men. But even women disagreed. When I complained to my mother that our treatment was against our faith, she answered, "I know, I know. But don’t be so smart - no one will marry you.”
Finally, prayers accepted, I was married to my cousin, a common occurrence in Pakistan, and escaped to the shore of freedom, America, where he had settled. However, a surprise lay ahead: my new husband earned little, worked two jobs and had only $200 in his bank account. I began working immediately (I told him I wanted to work to protect his pride and he consented out of love). After years of struggle and long days, we achieved the American dream. We developed many Dunkin’ Donut stores in Miami. Both my sons studied in top US universities.
However, I can’t forget the women back home who suffered at the hands of men who justified violence as part of their culture and faith. These women’s lives are anything but the exotic image of tan-skinned beauties in shalwar kameez, gold and glass arm bangles. Decades after my own childhood, Pakistani women remain prisoners, poorly educated, and still victimized by child marriages and bride burnings.
I am grateful to be in America; however, there is discrimination also, but of another kind. The cloud of September 11th cast a shadow over many Muslims here. Just as it criticizes men who beat women, Islam does not condone suicide and murder. This is another aspect of my faith that is misunderstood by the world and, obviously, by some Muslims.
Will women find their power? I say yes. Seneca Falls contains a powerful message that put tears in my eyes. Every one worked so hard. I am proud of my American sisters fighting for their rights to run businesses and even become President.
For my part, I have written a 95,000 word memoir manuscript “Speaking Out: a Muslim Woman’s Story” to tells a Pakistani girl’s emergence into an educated adulthood. Its constant thread is the politics of religion and the misinterpretation of Islam.
In my work as a volunteer teacher/speaker, I talk to South Florida women’s groups about my Pakistani sisters’ plight and how Muslim women in general are victimized by men who wrongly claim they are obeying the Koran. I’d like to find an agent to help me publish my book and some articles. I have vast knowledge of America and Pakistan, and how to developing businesses, but my knowledge about the literary field is limited. Please contact me if you can assist: nikinaseer@aol.com. Thank you.
© 2010, Nighat Naseer All rights reserved
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Comment by Nighat Naseer on May 15, 2011 at 4:56pm -
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Comment by Susan Kraft on May 15, 2011 at 3:17pm -
Thank you for your candid story. Your story refreshed my soul. I have been campaigning against prisoner status of women here and in the Middle East, and paint burkas as a symbol of not being heard or seen.
Many people are angry that I a so blunt at my criticism tell me not to interfer. They say not to use another culture attire as a symbol because they are not my people. But I say all people on the planet are my people. Women today shouldn't be ignored and kept down because of bad decisions made many years ago.
I didn't have to wear a burka as a young woman, but I was in a cultural prison none-the-less, with little or no support to get out. It's taken years and hard single-minded work to reach a level of personal and economic freedom I never know existed. I am not fiancially rich but I have gained a lot of knowledge and self-respect.
With that path came a interlocking structure of strong women who formed a group to promote women's public voice and preserve their history through art. I would like to see your book and possible talk to you about an upcoming conference celebrating Suffrage planned in August 2012.
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Comment by Louise Vance on July 27, 2010 at 1:34pm -
I am so moved by your story, Niki. I made a film called IRAN: BEHIND THE VEIL in 1985 when I was at Turner Broadcasting. That was my first real introduction to the kind of brutal treatment of women that is bound up with religious extremism in some countries. I'm so glad you stood your ground and got your education, and that you made it to America with your husband where you could participate fully in society. Your story is fascinating on many levels. It's a bit like looking back 160 years in this country, in terms of the status and treatment of women. I, too, would love to read your book, and look forward to your finding a path to publishing it.
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Comment by dmv on July 24, 2010 at 9:48pm -
Niki, thank you for sharing this powerful story. This brief taste of your journey is inspiring on many levels, and I look forward to reading more. I find it especially heartbreaking that men continually use the guise of religion to perpetuate inhuman exercises of power and control over women (and other men, as well), and I think that taking on those institutions is not only important but essential if humanity is to survive.
I think getting your story into the world would be of great value, and I wish you success.
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California to mandate teaching women's history?
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